My Best Place [Akaroa]
- schoolforyoungwrit
- Jun 4
- 3 min read
We are featuring a few of the 51 fresh voices featured on our recent edition of Write On Speak Out. You can read more about the project here. Write On Speak Out
Mesu is in Year 6. In a workshop exploring using the senses and remembering places that gave us positive memories, Mesu was quick to identify his best place.
My Best Place
I saw the sea in Akaroa
tiny waves splashed on the rocks
waves swooshed…
The water was cold and salty (which I definitely did not taste)
Rocks scratched the soles of my feet
seagulls screeched up in the sky.
Feeling the sand on the beach was the best,
like a massage when I walked on it,
like quicksand that didn’t suck me in.
After the beach, we bought sweet dark chocolate fudge.
I feel peace when I'm at Akaroa.
What we noticed:
Mesu drew on his memories and vivid sensory details.
Once he had his ideas in a first draft, Mesu ordered and grouped the ideas. He was able to develop each idea by considering word choices with a focus on nouns and verbs. Rocks scratched. Waves splashed and swooshed. Mesu chose to add an ellipsis to show the reader that the swoosh sound keeps on going. These are deliberate authorial choices to create an effect for the reader.
The addition of (which I definitely did not taste) was an afterthought as the writing was close to finished. This brought the poet's voice into the poem and mirrors the tasting of the fudge in the last stanza.
Mesu had two fabulous similes for the feel of the sand on his feet. He chose to use both to emphasise that this was "the best".
Thinking carefully, Mesu sequenced the poem to finish with two "after" thoughts. Using afterthoughts is a great way to help young writers find the significance of a memory.
Mesu chose to arrange his memory as a poem. It would also have worked as a piece of prose.
When Mesu read his piece at the radio station, there were collective "Oohs" from the people listening. Mesu knew his words had an effect. How cool! What effect did they have on you?
Exploring memories is a great way to generate meaningful writing.
There is a reason that certain events and places stay in our memories- they have significance. You may not recognise why the memory is significant until you have written about it and reflected on the emotions and thoughts you had.
To jump back into a memory of a place, use your senses. What did you see, hear, touch, smell or taste?
Once you have your nouns, you can activate them through lively verbs.
"I saw the waves" becomes much more interesting when you reframe the memory as "tiny waves splashed on the rocks".
As you revise, think about other ways to show your reader your memory. You might use techniques such as simile or play with the sounds of the words through alliteration.
Here are some other samples of writing from memories of place from Write On Speak Out. We love the different ways the young writers approach this prompt.
(c) Mesu and Write On School for Young Writers 2025
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