Sandcastle Rush


Here is one of the winning poems from the 2019 Seaweek Canterbury Poetry Competition.

For information on Seaweek 2021 see here: https://www.seaweek.org.nz/


Sandcastle Rush

by Mia S-M, Year 5.


Dig out a deep hole Shovel the sand Pile it up Pat it down to make it stable Shape it into a castle, with a wall and sand seats and stairs. Sit in the centre and wait for the tide.

While you wait add seaweed to the sand Pile sand on the seaweed You are safe for now But soon the sea will brush away the walls

and waves will rush into the centre and push you away with a whoosh!



What we noticed about Mia's poem.


# This instructional poem explores a personal experience that many readers can connect with.


# Each line contains a clear action.


# Extra detail has been added that helps create an image for the reader: Shape it into a castle, with a wall and sand seats and stairs.


# The poet adds in a moment of anticipation - You are safe for now


# The ending of the poem all happens in a rush — just like the experience it is relating.


# The poet cleverly plays with sound effects in the last lines — brush, rush, push and whoosh



Challenge your young writers to write an instructional poem about an activity at the beach or in/ on the ocean.


Make a list of the actions that take place.

  • expand on some ideas.

  • select verbs that best describe the actions.

  • rearrange the lines to aid meaning and rhythm.

  • play around with sound effects

  • read your instructional poem out loud. Think about the best way to end it.


Here are a few samples of Instructional Poems on our Blog and from Lockdown Voices. Note how they all have a different tone and approach.


https://www.schoolforyoungwriters.org/autumn-b


https://www.schoolforyoungwriters.org/nerhys-g


https://www.schoolforyoungwriters.org/post/how-to-walk-among-gamblers-unnoticed


https://www.schoolforyoungwriters.org/post/how-to-make-a-desert


https://www.schoolforyoungwriters.org/post/2019/03/04/gymnastics


https://www.schoolforyoungwriters.org/post/2018/09/26/how-not-to-climb-a-tree



If you are based in Canterbury please enter your poem in the Seaweek Canterbury Poetry Competition.


If you are outside of Canterbury please send it to us at Write On- we will still consider it for publication in Write On Magazine or on our blog.

email: writeonmagazine@gmail.com Subject: Seaweek Poetry Submission



(c) Write On School for Young Writers 2021